what pain really meant

what pain meant up til i was seven.
pain was when i tried riding the bicycle and fell down.
pain was when mummy would'nt buy me sweets to eat.
pain was when i fell down and scabbed my knee.
pain was when mummy punishes me when i was naughty.
pain was when my lil cousin sis bit me outta nowhere til i bled.
pain was when my cousin bro took his new toy riffle and whacked my head with it.
*
what pain meant until i was twelve.
pain was when teachers scolded me and made a fool out of me.
pain was when i changed schools and had to make new friends.
pain was when i got scolded for saying bad words that i didn't know the meaning of.
pain was when i started realising that people weren't all nice.
pain was when i fell down and friends laughed at me for it.
pain was when i realise that i had people who really hated me.
pain was being compared to people you can never be as good as.
*
what pain is since twelve.
pain is knowing that life is short and people around you actually leave.
pain is knowing that love isnt always reciprocated.
pain is seeing dreams and fairytales fall apart.
pain is hurting friends and making mistakes you can never undo.
pain is when "friends" say untrue stuffs behind your back.
pain is knowing friends change and sometimes walk out the door, never to come back.
pain is feeling not loved enough.
pain is loving someone who would never love you back the same way.
pain is getting a really bad result.
pain is feeling never good enough.
pain is the inability to forgive or forget.
pain is being replaced or the fear of it.
pain is feeling lonely
pain is having to let go.
pain is when close friends turn their backs on you when you need them the most.
pain is when change happens when you're most comfortable with the present.
pain is when you realise "forever" isn't as long as it used to be.
and pain is..
knowing that you're in pain..
but could do nothing about it..





people, this is just a random emo post=) was feeling kinda emo a while ago..but im fine now...no worries=)